Dreaming of Jew Cheeks Past . . .

I almost married my crazy friend Jew Cheeks the other night. For the SECOND time. I had to call it off though, due to bad weather--Actually there was a blizzard of work to be done and fortunately for the rest of my life, I am the industrious type.

My insane work ethic saves me from many mistakes.
It's not the best excuse, but it's what I got.

But back to the almost wedding. Jew Cheeks was drunk on a bed of cheap fur, surrounded by other drunk friends that he decided were his bachelor party. It seemed the absolute wrong thing to do, so in keeping with the rest of my life, I decided to go for it.

Soon after I said yes, I would marry my darling little ewok, two other friends, The Garbett and The Kneedler, announced that their cats were also engaged to be wed, asking me to be the maid of honor. I said yes to that too (I hope you guys weren't kidding!).

It was a glorious day.

When I offered to make it a double wedding (probably because I've always wanted to say, "Minister, make it a double!") Team G & K seemed a little offended. Said The Kneedler "There is no way we're going to let you cut in on our cats' wedding"

Fine, fine. Back to wedding planning! Whew! It really tires a girl out!

But worth it!

As the charming Dr. Faust said to Jew Cheeks and myself, ours would be an amazing coming together (again) of two disparate tribes:

A POLISH-JEWISH WEDDING with a BIG FAT STUPID RECEPTION.

I can just hear the Priest (Rabbi) now:

Do you, Jew Cheeks take Gruzzle Nuzzle (what my fiance calls me--he can't pronounce or spell my long last name) as your unlawful wedded wife?

And do you, Gruzzle Nuzzle take Jew Cheeks to be your something something something? And honor and cherries and something something something?

I now pronounce you Pollock and Jew. . . You may now kiss the Pole.

And then the skies began to darken. And I had work to do.