The Spanking and How We Took It:

The first official meeting of the house-mates was tonight and went well. We had beer and popcorn and printed agendas and everything.

There were cleaning schedules with stickers for when we actually do our part, a dog-walking calendar on white-board with personalized, magnetized bones and I forget what-all.

Mister WiFi knows his business! The Bearded One--not Jesus, Freud or Santa, but my other roommate--and I were impressed.

We talked and made lists and doodled and I cried because I can never say what I want to say and nobody understands what I mean and then I ate a pickle. These hormones of mine are in a tizzy these days. Fucking what is up with becoming an adult and all that bullshit?...I never wanted to be a free range Lucille Ball without a Ricky, but guess what?

And then we played cards and smoked cigars and called up some private dancers who came over and shook it. We grew fat and tired and fell asleep standing up and/or hanging upside down.

The end.