To Mister WiFi:

Oh My! A Rat! A Rat! A Fat and Smelly Rat!

I tell you, I always hear that thing scuttling about above the ceiling and in the walls.

He is not our friend.

In fact before I left I did a load of laundry, but not until I had first removed rat turds from the washing machine.

You can tell they are from a rat's bottom because they are bigger.

I am with my friend Deerie Lou who says that the word for the day is "autumnal" and the phrase for the day is "plump autumnal rump" as in:

It is acceptable to find,
Rat Turds in your pantry.

It is not fine to find,
Rat droppings in your panties.

I will kick that rodent in:
His Plump Autumnal Rump.

I went with Deerie Lou to get an Ultrasound today.

I have never seen such a gorgeous half-baked bun in any oven. No, nor so fine an oven to bake the bread in. It was a marvelous experience and one I shan't soon forget it.

D. Lou lets me pretend that the baby is going to have big blue eyes, much like myself and the ghost of her gorgeous Burmese kitty who passed on to the stranger pastures of Cat Heaven earlier this year--But not until having first assisted me in making sure that Our Lady of the Always Adorable Sneakers is With Child: Our Child.

I am her father, Luke! That is to say, the Beautiful Burmese and myself, we are the proudest EVER Fathers to Be!

I am putting on my finest shoes and doing a little dance all the way to the courthouse.

p.s. I'll be driving home tomorrow.